People,

Friday fun time again, and as promised I have an edited list of the best short book titles for you. Incidentally, there was no prize for 1st place as I didn't feel like judging. Instead, there will be a few honourable mentions:

Heather for being the most enthusiastic contributor Maria for being the most original contributor Lynne for being the most censored contributor Richard for being the only contributor to mention me

The best of the bunch:

"How to join MENSA" by the Spice Girls
"The Book of imperceptible Hair Pieces" Gary Glitter (co-author Burt Reynolds)
"The Problems and Pitfalls of Being a Babe Magnet" John Prescott
"How to Be a Boxing Champ" Frank Bruno
"My life in the Fast Lane" John Major
"Celibacy in the 90s" Sharon Stone
Musical popularity by Des-o-Connor
British Winter Sports Champions
Matts Successful Chat-up lines
Scottish Tories 1997-?
The Big Book of German Humour
"1st Division Football" by Stoke City
"Effective Speaking" by William Hague
"Currency Conversion Rate for Europe"
"Footballing Finesse" by Vinnie Jones
"Contraception - A Papal message"
"Sly Stallones Speech Therapy Techniques"
"On the Breadline" by Bill Gates
"My contributions to World Peace" by Saddam Hussain
"Black is Beautiful" by Michael Jackson
"I believe it!" by Victor Meldrew
"Bringing Out Your Charisma" by William Hague

Another fun joke (sent to me by Kaz - thanks).

There was a Frenchman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Provence. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and, being an old style train, there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap.

When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Englishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Frenchman had his hand against his face as he had been slapped there.

The Frenchman was thinking: 'The English fella must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.'

Claudia Schiffer was thinking: The French fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Englishman and got slapped for it.'

And the Englishman was thinking: 'This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I'll make another kissing noise and slap that Frenchman again.

Morry
MD GOMP