Dear list member
Welcome to the new Friday Fun list. Thankyou for choosing GOMP international as your preferred supplier of Fun on Fridays, and let me take this opportunity to assure you that your status as 'Most Valued Victim' is assured. Should you find that you have any complaints to make concerning this list, please feel free to direct them to our customer service representative at the following address:
Anyway, enough of the boring, here is todays fun:
The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later they were both eaten by a killer whale.
In 1992, Frank Perkins of Los Angeles made an attempt on the world flagpole-sitting record. By the time he had come down, eight hours short of the 400 day record, his sponsor had gone bust, his girlfriend had left him and his phone and electricity had been cut off.
A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking frantically with what looked like a wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current she whacked him with a handy plank of wood by the back door, breaking his arm in two places. A shame as he was merely been listening to his walkman.
Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn. Suddenly the pigs, all two thousand of them, escaped through a broken fence and stampeded, trampling the two hapless protesters to death.
Place and time: somewhere in the Soviet Union in the 1930s.
The phone rings at KGB headquarters.
"Hello?"
"My neighbor Yankel Rabinovitz is an enemy of the State. He is hiding undeclared diamonds in his woodshed."
"This will be noted."
The next day, the KGB goons go over to Rabinovitz's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept, break every piece of wood, find no diamonds, swear at Rabinovitz, and leave.
The phone rings at Rabinovitz's house.
"Hello, Yankel! Did the KGB come?"
"Yes."
"Did they chop your firewood?"
"Yes, they did."
"Okay, now it's your turn to call. I need my vegetable patch plowed."
Morry
MD GOMP
All material contained within this site has been researched and/or written by Morry. Any mistakes are my own and are completely intentional.
Offence is not my intention, so if you are offended in any way by anything on these pages, please mail me ASAP with your reasons.
Should you want to get in touch with me, my e-mail address is: [email protected]
Party on dudes